Five Element Training
3. Emotional Maturity & Integrity
Once we have experienced the clarity of a purely receptive mind, a mind free from opinion, bias, and emotional turbulence, then we are able to accept whatever feelings might arise for us. We move beyond our usual reactive patterns of denial, fear and anger and abide in the deeper feelings of honest forgiveness and compassion for ourselves, and genuine empathy for others. We realize directly our inherent freedom and begin choosing our emotional responses instead of habitually reacting with old, conditioned, emotional patterns. We feel the truth of our lives more profoundly than ever, yet trust that we will now express that truth through our inherent compassion and wisdom. All of this we call “skillful means.”
Before we directly experience this level of psychological maturity and integrity we might find ourselves at the end of a long relationship, only focusing on being the “victim.” We tell ourselves that we have been “wronged,” and experience hostility and vindictiveness towards the other person. After realizing our inherent compassion and freedom, we might find ourselves in a similar situation, yet we now respond in a totally different way. Instead of reacting with anger, we feel ourselves inclined towards self-examination and self-reflection. Realizing the difficulty of coping with our own grief, we feel nothing but loving kindness towards the other person. We feel no need to perpetuate more conflict and suffering. We step away from projecting blame onto others for the reality of our own suffering, and now accept responsibility for our own feelings and actions.
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